Visiting My Adopted Out Son
My husband and I had the opportunity this summer to visit my adopted out son at his home. First off, I have to say we had a wonderful time. I was so impressed with how his life has turned out for him. I also learned how much we have in common. I was also able to meet some of his friends. They were all wonderful people. It was such a pleasant experience just relaxing around his home with him, sitting around and just sharing time together. I regret not having an opportunity to be in his life earlier, but I am so grateful for the chance to do so now.
My adopted out son has created a life for himself that must people would be proud of. He has a great love life, wonderful friends, and a career he can be proud of. I am so grateful he took the time to find me, and the courage to make contact with me. We now talk once or twice a week to each other. They are going to try to make to our place for Thanksgiving, but if not we will try to see each other when it becomes possible.
This is just my opinion, but I feel it is easier for an adopted out child to make contact with a birth mother, or birth parents than a birth parent trying to find their child. The reason I say this is that more often the parent may have gone through the process of raising other children and there is less intrusion upon a life they have built. An adopted child may be building a life of their own, still heavily involved with their adoptive family, and may make the introduction of a birth parent more confusing. But, in either case, I am a proponent for finding birth parents or adopted out children. As a birth mother I always wondered how my son’s life had turned out, wishing and hoping for the best. And as a birth mother having gotten together with my adopted out son again, I can assure birth parents that your adopted out child has so many questions for you and often aches just to meet you.
I urge all of you not to hesitate to make contact if you are on the fence about a similar situation in your life.
im asking how do you come w all the mental stress they put on the family. yes i know that its been some years since the adoption but know that there older all the probles are starting to come to light, like the abuse from them being in foster care.
Hello. I’m not exactly sure what your question is, but I think you are wondering how to deal with the stress adoption places on the families. It also sounds like the children (?) may have been foster care kids. This is a tough situation for adoptive parents. IF you have have raised them in a loving environment you want them to share with you any negative experiences they may have had in foster care. This will do 2 things, it will help you understand their state of mind and it will give you ammunition to counter any effects these experiences are having on the kids. Communication is so important whether your children are adopted or your birth children.
Just make sure they know you love them. Teenagers need to feel their own way through things..it is up to you as a parent to recognize when you need to step in.
Good luck with the kids.
Hello, I just wanted to take some time today to make a comment and say I have really enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks for all your work!
great blog but some pictures will make it better
Thank you for this interesting article, i’ll bookmark this page
You could also check this site for finding birth parents
http://www.i-am-adopted.com/
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