My Adoption Story

Because of my pregnancy when I was just sixteen I can completely relate to the emotional trials a young girl has to deal with when faced with becoming a birth parent. My first reaction of course was I wanted to keep it. Being so young I was not thinking about the baby. I was just in love with the idea of having this wonderful little being.

I was able to hide the fact I was pregnant until I began to show in the third month. I was scared to death to tell my folks. They took it badly and it shattered me. They did not want their friends and neighbors to know so they made plans for me to live with my brother. Eventually I came to the decision I would give the baby up for adoption.

Birth Parent – Confusion Reigns

I was devastated! I was frantic to hold on to the infant so I ran away to a friend’s house. My friend had a single mom friend staying with her who had a new born child. This friend had nowhere else to go so she alternated living with friends. I remember standing over the baby in the bassinet and thinking, what was I going to do?  Where would I stay? How would I support the child? Having no answers to these questions I realized I would soon be a birth mother for a family that would raise my child.

I didn’t know the answers to these questions. It frightened me. I returned home and told my family I would agree to the adoption. I laid down some rules for the adoption and they (my family) agreed to them and found someone to fit the bill.

Birth Parent – the Birth

So on a cold December morning my son was born. On that day I officially became a birth parent. He was just the most adorable little baby. I told them I would not sign anything until I got the chance to hold him. When they handed me my son he was so warm and cuddly and just a fussing some, but her quieted down as soon as I held him. My heart melted when he saw me for the first time. We smiled at each other and I vowed to him that we would see each other again someday but for now I wouldn’t be able to take care him.

As the years went by I wanted to find out how he was doing, who he looked like and so on. But each time I tried I would hit a wall. I never forgot a thing about him. Though I knew nothing about him I always ached to hold him again. Through the years I made attempts to find him through various adoption sites but just kept hitting dead ends. I was hoping that he was trying to find his birth parents and would eventually find me.

Eventually I met my husband and we had three wonderful kids. We managed to get two of them married off. When my husband retired we made the decision to sell our house and relocate to a warmer climate.

Birth Parent – He Found Me

It was December 2009 and I was talked into signing up on Facebook a several months earlier. One evening I received a message from a young man saying that he had reason to believe that I might be the birth mother of a friend of his.

And just like that 38 years later I was found. Yes he was my son. I was his birth mother.  The emotions just flowed in and I couldn’t think. We talked on the phone for months getting to know each other. I was so nervous that he would think I was a monster giving my child away like that. He said he understood that there might have been extenuating circumstances. He was so kind and thoughtful and sweet.

We have gotten together twice now and it’s so easy for me to be with him, talk to him. I strongly urge everyone searching for a birth parent(s) or a child given up for adoption to never quit searching. Go in with no expectations and your rewards can be life changing.  Don’t wait until it’s too late. Finding birth parents will forever change your life.